Signs that you are a mummy #01

1. You go out for minimum of 2 hours and you think of nothing except your baby at home.
2. You are late but you kept looking and kissing the baby.
3. You go out for facial from 1.30pm to 5.00pm and you called home to ask if your baby has drank his milk and did he cry.

Growth Spurt

~ This entry may be disturbing to some readers, so please exercise caution! ~

6pm - Zachary woke up. Mommy latch him on
6.35pm - He fell asleep while feeding. Mommy let him rest for 3 minutes. No reaction from Zach (still asleep). Mommy got up and wanted to put Zach down in his cot. He woke up and found my breast automatically.
6.40pm - Mommy sat down again to nurse.
7pm - He fell asleep. Mommy got up and managed to put Zach down in his cot.
7.05pm - Mommy had her dinner - smelly papaya + fish soup and chicken. It was a quick dinner cos the soup has a really bad fishy smell.
7.15pm - Zach calls out for attention again. First signal which was ignored..
7.20pm - Zach calls out for the 2nd time.. mommy carries him and he starts searching for my breast again. Maybe he is hungry
7.23pm - Sat down and nurse him again
9pm - Zach empties mommy's pair of breast!! He was 'milk drunk' (as usual) and fell into deep slumber..

Arrgghh.. my breast was never as sore as these few days! He must be going through the phase called Growth Spurt which usually happens at the 3rd, 5th or 6th week. I kept thinking my breast will not be able to produce enough milk to satisfy his hunger or mabbe he is juz taking mommy's breast (nipple actually) as sucking ice cream? Hehe.. after his feed, my nipple will have the 'pins and needles' feeling which is due to milk being produced for his next feed. This is when mommy will assist by drinking more warm fluids like red dates tea, warm water, Milo or Horlicks.

Get that negative thought off my head as it will affect milk production!! I think of nothing but how to increase milk supply, how to store more milk for future usage.. all is MILK MILK and MILK. What does Kathleen drink? Red dates and plain warm water..gotcha and you think I was going to say Kathleen drink MILK? Wrong.. she hates milk!

It is not even one month and I am at the verge of giving up breastfeeding. Well, maybe not breastfeeding but latching on. It's quite tiring. I must think of an alternative. Read from magazine that it is best to breastfeed for at least 6 months to give baby a good headstart. 5 more months to go, can I take it? By the end of the 6th month, I will prob:

1. Turn into a milking woman / cow
2. My breast will sag
3. My nipple will drop off or go out of shape
4. My cup size will be smaller which is a good thing
5. I will be so sick of Milo and Horlicks and McVities Digestive biscuits
6. Zach will take mommy as his milk provider!!

Seeing Zach growing day by day is really heartwarming.. but what I want to see is more flesh. He is still skinny to me but I realised when I carry him, he is a tad bit heavier but how heavy? Not sure cos hv not weigh him since his second week. Fingers crossed by the next visit for his first 6-in-1 jab, his weight would reach 4kg? Mommy's target..

A picture of Zach that never fails to brighten up mommy's pain.. Notice his face has some heat rash which breaks my heart.. another phase. Oh well, it will phase out soon..

Life during confinement

Its Chinese beliefs that mothers must observe at least 1month of confinement period or max 40days after delivery. Of course, I being a Chinese is no different from other mothers. Sigh.. confinement means confined to the house, with no fan, no tv, no book nothing! Supposed to be only you and the baby!! Well, at this age of time, who will follow such strict rule? At least not me..puhleez..

We (mummy and Zach) were discharged on 08 Dec 2008 with Zach having slight jaundice and Dr. Keoy suggested that we strip him naked except for his diaper and sun him every morning but with the cooling December weather, and Zach being so 'skinny', I was reluctant to do so.

Due to my emergency case, I do not have a confinement lady for the first week hence my mom have to stay back and help me out. She will cook and bathe the baby as well as wash baby's clothes. I am really grateful that my mom was there to keep me sane though I did lose my temper a number of times due to lack of sleep. Zach was really cranky the whole week, trying to get used to the surrounding. I moved to his room and he practically cry every 10minutes or so and being first time mom, I supposed he is hungry. My breast became his comfort zone. One night he even slept while sucking. I too dozed off and before I knew it, he woke up on his own and began sucking again. Cute! All these comes with pain.. my c-sect wound of course. Getting down and up the bed umpteenth times every night really made me wanna cry at times. At one point, I thought my stitches were going to burst cos it was so pain..

The following week went by without much hiccup as my confinement lady is here and she took care of Zach except for the feeding. I still nurse him all the time to create the special bond between us. There are times when remarks such as "I think Zach is still hungry cos he is still licking his lips" "How much milk does Zach takes now?" Err.. who knows since I latch him on completely. The ultimate question "How much milk are you pumping per session".. what does that got to do with her? In my mind, I was thinking, you are my confinement lady whose job is to take care of my son and I and it is your responsibility to ensure that I eat proper food that can boost my milk supply!!! Hahaha...this will be my response if she ever passes such comments again.

As mom is not around and hubby do not know how to do grocery shopping, I did go out a few times. Actually almost twice a week. No choice, I still need to eat, my confinement lady still need to eat. I go to places like the wet market (once a week) and Compass Point (that's to do last minute Christmas shopping for hubby). Occasionally I will go to the provision shop near my block to purchase some small items. Hehehe.. what confinement?

I did wash my hair after 7 days despite my mom's protest. She was lecturing me about the consequences of washing my hair so frequently but I turn a deaf ear. There is a time when I washed my hair and did not manage to blow dry them as Zach was crying for feeding, I got another long long long lecture. Now that she is in Malaysia, I wash my hair every alternate day and I shower twice a day! What a bliss...hahahaha

One thing that I love during confinement is that I do not need to wash any dishes but I knew I will be doing massive clean up after that - the whole house smells of meat and fish! The food is nice especially pao shen with chicken and the chicken essense that my confinement lady made! Yummy..

On a nicer note to end this blog, I started my massage 2 days ago and received a good comment from Mdm Nadia that I have good skin and no flabbiness at my tummy area. In fact, my tummy was flat when I started the massage and now it is much firmer. I can even fit into my pre-pregnancy shirt but yet to try on the pants! Shall try once I finish the session.. kambatei!

Surviving motherhood

It's been 13 days since the arrival of Zach and we being promoted from couple to parents! Proud parents to Zach of course! Hee..

The first week was really a test for me, Zach was being very cranky which I take it that he is trying to get used to living outside mummy's warm and comfortable womb..*grin*. He wakes up every hour and without a confinement lady, I have to resort to taking care of him myself (I couldn't let my mom to be the one waking up right??). Every hour, I have to latch him on and I probably have insufficient milk because he will be crying the moment I place him back to his cot. This does not help to the fact that I had a c-sect delivery and I am still recovering till at one point I thought my stitches were going to burst with all the climbing up and down the bed!

Well, one week of nightmare is over! Confinement lady is here now but I still wake up every time to nurse Zach - I want to form a bond with him and I believe nursing him is the best way! I manage to catch an hour of rest in between the day when he sleeps which is good enough for me. I am so glad that I am not the sort that requires alot of sleep.. ;)

Watching Zach grow everyday is really an eye opener.. we learn with him along the way. Learn to understand his need based on his crying. It is always either hungry or he poop! Hahaha...

Some pictures of Zach.. I really can't help but snap pictures of him everyday!!! These are some of my favorite shots of him...

My birth story

Better post this before Zach wakes up!!

My last post mentioned that I will be undergoing c-sect due to my severe preeclampsia and low blood count!

We checked into TMC at 10.30pm and after all the routine questions and answer and procedures, finally managed to settle down at 11.10pm! I have to get ready for bed since the op was scheduled to be at 7.15am.. did not manage to sleep much as the nurses were in and out of my room monitoring my BP and at one point of time inserting edema for me to clear my bowel. My birth story as follows:

04 Dec 208

10pm Left home after packing and setting up Zach's cot to TMC

Zach's cot all set up to welcome him back home

11.05pm Finally went into Room 507 to rest

11.45pm Changed into my pyjamas and ready for bed

I'll always keep this pix to show how blown up I am

05 Dec 2008

5.10am Edema administered and was asked to hold for 15minutes but I can't..rush to toilet.

6am Took final BP reading, baby's heartbeat, change into operating gown and brush my teeth (need a clean breath to give Zach his first kiss..)

6.30am Received SMS from Joanne that her waterbag burst and she is joining me at TMC!

6.45am Anaesthetist start me on drip and try to draw my alr low blood count for cord blood banking

7.05am Epidural administered, I started to shiver coupled with nervousness! My BP shot up very high..all asked me to relax!!

7.15am Dr Soong arrived, hubby joined in - I was sliced open..hehe

7.36am A tug and a push from both doctors, Zach came out wailing even before his butt was slapped!

Zachary came out crying - he's clean thanks to coconut drink!

Mummy's first kiss to Zach - overwhelmed with emotions..after 9 months

No longer hubby and I, there is little Zach joining us in our life journey

And the journey continues...

Mummy's popping tomorrow!!

My 24 hour urine collection officially ended this morning at 11.07am. We left home at 10.30am to submit the specimen for test. We then went to Orchard to have brunch and shop at Borders and Marks & Spencer..

Gynae called shortly after that saying that the blood test result is out and it is confirmed that I have pre-eclampsia. She wants to see me so I scheduled it to be tomorrow, 9.30am. However, I still felt abit uneasy because my heart has been pumping very fast and hard since last night that I could not really sleep very well. And I could feel my veins are swelling and my feet do have bruises forming which I do not think it is a good sign..

I called them back and told the nurses that I wanna see the gynae today instead and they agreed cos Dr Soong also wanted to see me by today. Well.. I can only think of more bad news?? True enough, she said my condition is different and it is progressing very fast and she is not comfortable with the forming bruises which means that my blood is not circulating well and today's BP reading is extremely high! She said I can choose to deliver from tomorrow till next Tuesday - she let me choose! Me and hb wasn't exactly prepared and hence we ask her the pros and cons.. seems that baby is safe just that mummy's life is in danger cos of the high BP.

Decision made: We opt for c-sect tomorrow, 05 Dec 2008. Operating theater is full so the operation have start at 7.15am and because of my high BP, I have to 'check-in' by 11pm tonight for monitoring.. because of this last minute arrangement, we rushed home to prepare Zach's cot, wash the final load of his stuff and as for my parents, they hv to purchase last minute air ticket to fly out here by tonight!! They were so unprepared for all these..well, who is right?

I called my CL and she can't make it in time for my discharge on Sunday. Her current assignment will only complete on 15th which means I have to 'beg' my mom to stay back and help me out with the confinement.. I guess I will not dare to carry the baby for the first few days..hahahaha!!

I will post loads of Zach's photo and the birth story tomorrow.. :)

Stay tune..

A little hope

Maybe I count my blessings too early? Week 37 and I was at my gynae's office super early as she has to go off earlier than her usual time.

I failed my urine test - which I never failed before even before pregnancy because I am a water tank. I drink litres of water daily so when they found out I have high content of protein in my urine, the alarm rang!

My blood pressure shot up higher compared to last week. I did not really paid any attention to it since it was unusually high for the past few visits. Nurse Alice will always take up to 4 readings to get a good result. This time round, she did twice and both readings were high. I was sent in the room to do a CTG first so that I could rest and relax! Why are they always asking me to relax and calm down? I actually felt relaxed and calm leh when doing the pressure test or maybe all these while my relax and calm definition is wrong??

Only consolation, my CTG is okay, baby is moving and he is so cute today. Nurse Alice was in the room chatting with me (I think it's her way of keeping me calm?!?) and Zach kept moving about..hahaha! I thought I experienced several contractions but when the contraction readings were high, I actually felt out of breath - a feeling I've been getting quite often lately. Even now at wee hours in the morning, I couldn't sleep because I could feel my heart pumping too fast and I am getting breathless.

Met my gynae and she is worried that I may have preeclampsia (read more here). Well, the symptoms are all there coupled with my excessive swelling yesterday which I must say, I can't even recognise myself cos my face n eyes are so swollen! She said "Girl, why not I induce you next week? I worried that this is pre-eclampsia and is harmful for the baby". Nothing prepared me for this. Hubby wasn't with me.. no one to discuss with etc.. I do not know my options. Anyway, guess she understood and we proceeded with scanning the baby - Zach put on 200g since the last visit which means he is now 2.7kg at 37 weeks. Smaller compared to other mummies babies but as long as he is gaining healthy weight and still moving ard, I have no other worries. Doctor also did a VE for me, cervix is still closed! Which means baby is not engaged!! Arrgghh..so she said, may need to do a c-sect!! Last thing I need is another scar on my abdomen..since I alr had one last March. I told her, I do not mind inducing but I really want to try natural birth if possible.

I guess, now the only way is to wait for further lab results - she sent me for blood test and urine test. I was to collect my urine for the last 24hrs into this super huge 5 litre container..hahaha. It was damn funny to lug that container around. So far the collection has been good and I have not wasted a single drop of my urine (which was said will affect the outcome).

I have been talking to Zach asking him to get engaged ASAP..hahaha so that mummy don't have to go through the pain of c-sect and I am sure he do not want to see his mummy suffer..hehe, I hope he can hear mummy's plea for help. By next week, he should be engaged since he will be 38 weeks..praying hard and keeping my toes and fingers crossed!!